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Confidence, Self-Esteem & Empowerment

Self-esteem Counselling Maple Ridge, BC and Metro Vancouver

What is Self-esteem and Why is it Important?

Self-esteem affects everything we do in life. It is at the root of how we think, feel, and behave. It impacts our relationships with others and our relationship with ourselves. With healthy self-esteem we have confidence in our appearance, our intelligence, personality, and our abilities and we don’t worry about what other people think of us. It shows the degree to which we have self-respect and believe we deserve respect from others.

When we strengthen our self-esteem it affects many aspects of how we show up in our lives. We gain confidence in our ability to think and to cope with the challenges of life; confidence in our right to be happy, the feeling of being worthy, deserving, and entitled to assert our needs and wants and to enjoy the rewards of our efforts.

Having healthy self-esteem relates to the feeling of being empowered. Empowerment is the feeling of freedom and right to live our lives according to values or desires that are authentically our own. Often the blockage to this freedom comes from negative and erroneous beliefs about ourselves that come from experiences accumulated in our lives.

Since many people have struggled with self-esteem issues from early childhood, it’s often necessary to seek therapy for this condition as it’s one that most people aren’t often able to treat on their own.

Treatment for Low Self-esteem

Therapy to treat self-worth issues is often coined “person-centered” meaning that you work from the inside out. Making deeper connections with ourselves to unveil our core beliefs, how we store these, and where they come from are all important in the process of integrating a new self-concept.

I work holistically with you to heal and strengthen your relationships with yourself. I integrate techniques from Body-focused Therapy, Cognitive Behavioral Therapy, Gestalt Therapy, and Solution Focused Therapy to identify and restructure your limiting beliefs.

Self-esteem therapy can involve:

  • Emotional processing to heal old wounds
  • Development a compassionate and trusting relationship with your authentic self
  • Exploration of your uniqueness and strengths
  • Embodiment skills for connection and self-acceptance
  • Mindfulness training and learning to monitor your negative self-talk
  • Communication and assertiveness skills
  • Activity planning to develop your skills and improve your performance

Community programs for self-defense, public speaking, drama programs, leadership workshops, and body movement classes such as martial arts, dance, or yoga help improve self-expression and are often explored as adjuncts in self-esteem therapy.

How Low Self-Esteem Affects Your Daily Functioning

Low self esteem can be very detrimental in how we show up in our lives. Here are a few ways that low self-esteem might be affecting you:

  • Feeling worthless or that your life is meaningless
  • Feeling incompetent or inferior
  • Feeling unloved or generally unwanted or disliked
  • Needing others’ approval and opinions
  • Anxiety about being disliked or rejected
  • Frequent or irrational feelings of guilt
  • Self-criticalness or criticalness of others
  • Self-doubt and indecision
  • Fear of making mistakes
  • Self-destructive behavior
  • Deference to others
  • Comparing yourself to others
  • Discounting your needs, feelings, and wants
  • Staying in relationships where your investment or love isn’t reciprocated
  • Defensiveness and hypersensitivity to criticism or negative feedback
  • Discomfort with compliments
  • Difficulty speaking up, sharing opinions, or setting limits with people
  • Frequent negative thoughts and emotions
  • Being drawn to destructive relationships
  • Difficulty trusting yourself
  • Fear of intimacy
  • Envy of others
  • Difficulty starting and completing tasks or pursuing goals
  • Distorted views of yourself and others
  • Lack of agency – a feeling of “I can’t” instead of “I can”

Get started on building a unique path to a healthier relationship with yourself.

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